The Good, The Brad, And The Utley

Various "headlines" for tomorrow's Inquirer (with plenty of outside contribution):

Cole-Train
Cole'd Statement
Cole'd Hard Facts
Cole'd Blooded
Cole'd Shoulder
Durbin Sprawl
Cole'd As Ice
Moyer Than Meets The Eye
Werth His Weight In Gold
Durbin Legends
Dur-Band-Aid
Net Werth
Two Cents Werth
Moyer Than Words
Moyer Than A Feeling
Cole'd Fusion
Coste Guard
Lidgendary
Romerolling
Ruiz-y Does It
A Burrell Of Monkeys
Stair-Down
Stairway To Heaven
Stair Master
Manuel Transmission
Manuel Labor

Any guess as to which of these have already been used? A few of them were. Some other ones from yesterday:

Field Of Streams
Reign Delay
Pour Judgment

Annnnd a few from 1993:

What The Kruk?
Doolin' Daulton
Milt-itary Force
The Third Eisenreich
The Great Morandini
Stocker Options

Phillies in the World Series! Philadelphia Celebrates on Broad Street!

World Series!  Been waiting 15 years to come back.  Been waiting my whole life for a Philly championship.

After watching the last out at Mike's house, I hopped on the back of his moped and we drove up and down Broad Street.  Tens of thousands of people were outside, going insane.  It was a scene I'll never forget.  Following are a few pictures and above, of course, is a video compilation that I took from the back of the moped.

I'm a Philebrity (kinda) and Matt Stairs

Looks like Philebrity picked up the picture posted in my recent entry, "Domestic Disturbadelphia" which can be seen a couple posts ago. Shows just how crazy the police response was on that call.

Also, Matt Stairs is the man. The first professional baseball game I ever went to was in 1991, Harrisburg Senators vs. Albany Yankees. Albany won, but Stairs played in that game for the Senators, and wound up being the Eastern League MVP that season. Now he's 40 and hit the game-winning shot on one of the most exciting baseball games I've seen.

He also gave one of the best postgame press conferences you'll see, which included this gem of a quote:

"When you get that nice celebration coming into the dugout, when you're getting your ass hammered by guys, there's no better feeling than having that done."

Yikes. Either way, gotta love the mammoth two-run homer to put the Phils within a game of the World Series.

"Fair and Balanced" or "The Best Political Team in the UNIVERSE!!!!"

It's amazing to see the differences in reporting between Fox News and CNN.

In the wake of last night's "super-enlightening" debate, the headlines on Fox's website included an article wondering who the winner was and an article about Obama bumming cigarettes on the campaign trail.

CNN's headlines included "Obama picks up second debate win, viewers say" and another one about McCain being too old.

The verdict here is that both of these websites are a joke when it comes to political reporting, and I would submit the only way to get a good barometer of what went on is to...umm...I don't know. You can try reading them both, but that may have the same effectiveness as standing in the middle of a snowball fight.

Personally, I watched about half the debate, and I was disappointed that it was not more like the following:

Domestic Disturbadelphia

This was the scene outside my window at about 5pm yesterday.  We were out on the deck playing a game when we heard a good bit of yelling coming from the bar a couple blocks away (not an entirely strange occurrence).  This followed by siren after siren after siren.  We heard doors slamming and things that sounded like gunshots (we determined they probably weren't (more on gunshots in a moment)) and decided we had to take a look.  When we poked our heads out the window, the above was the scene.  This picture really only shows one angle of it; there were at least 26 police vehicles at the scene here. 

So, what could possibly happen that would warrant a police force larger than that of a medium sized town?  It turns out it was some kid on a dirt bike riding around causing a ruckus.  One kid on a dirtbike (and I guess a number of other people yelling at him).  26 police cars.  

Later that night, Jeremy and I were talking to the neighbors in front of their house at their stoop.  One of the neighbors, Quinn, was demonstrating how his friend, Charlie, was adept at climbing walls (hence his nickname, "Spiderman").  All of a sudden, all we heard was POPPOPPOP POPPOP...Quinn runs inside, Spiderman jumps under the car parked in front of the house, and Jeremy and I realize what was happening and run inside and shut off all the lights and get away from the windows.  Gunshots, at the same bar 200ft away where 26 cops showed up 6 hours earlier.

I suppose this is a normal day in the life in some parts of Brewerytown.  Or, most of Philadelphia, for that matter.  I do, however, feel pretty safe...this house is secure, and the neighbors did tell us they have our backs.  I just wouldn't recommend anyone stop in for a drink at the bar a half block north of 30th and Girard.

5 sorry louts think they're yer mates!

OK, this is what you need to do. Get on facebook. Scroll down to the bottom. Look for where it says "English" (or whatever your current language is). Click on it and select "English (Pirate)."

THEN, enjoy the changes that are made to your facebook page. You can see a few of them in the picture, like "Arrrplications Plank."

Whoever came up with this has both a sense of humor and too much time on their hands at their cushy job at Facebook. I wish more websites had this feature...I would love to read about the Phillies tomorrow on ESPN.com in pirate-speak.

Speaking of which, GAME ONE is today. Exactly zero of ESPN's 15-20 "experts" picked a World Series win for the Phils. Here's hoping they're all completely wrong. The Rays (no offense) BETTER not win a World Series sooner than the Phillies.